Also! I’m quoted in this month’s Loaded magazine in a short article about rip-off tat. Ram your eyeballs up against this if you’d like to see a scan.

The first cross-pollinated video will be another Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of, because I haven’t released one for 18 months. Expect it to hit the magical inter-tubes within a week.

Also! I’ve given another interview, this time with the fragrant Thunderbolt Games. Have a good click here and learn a bit about POP Stations and hammers.

SO! If any of you fine people happen to have any of the following please drop me a line via the e-mail link in the top-right there. (I don’t need access to them physically – scans would be great.)

• The last ever issue of Amiga Action magazine (Issue 89, December 1996, Egor in Toyland on the coverdisk). Specifically I want a scan of the “Son of Boggit” adventure game help section from it, which was less a tips section and more a thinly veiled rant.

• Any issues of Public Domain magazine, an obscure Future Publishing magazine which dealt with the freeware and shareware of the time for Amiga, ST and PC. There were only ever about 12 issues produced. (I’m trying to track down an incredibly inept Atari ST demo which was reviewed in it – I can’t remember the name and nobody else has any recollection of it. If I can find the review I should be able to finally track it down.)

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Ta.

Further news! My Noseybonk appearance on the BBC’s Screen Wipe is available online via the magic of YouTube. It’s at the very start of the episode, but I strongly suggest you watch the whole thing as it’s excellent. Cast your eyeballs here fella:

And finally the Christmas tat video I made has been online for a while, so here it is:

(Incidentally, I decided against posting a write-up the Noseybonk-on-Screenwipe thing because it came across as self-aggrandising and tedious. And there’s plenty enough stuff like that on the Internet already, hmm?)

On a completely different subject, I was recently interviewed by UK gaming site Peoww. Point your eyes towards this webpage if you’d like to know what I watch on TV and why I thought up Liquid Filth.

Basically – I’m selling off some of the tat I’ve reviewed over the years on Ebay. First up are the KenSingTon Vii and the Gamestation – have a look at the auctions page for further info.

That is all. Resume your positions.

Please note that the raft of grotesque video effects were an aesthetic choice, and in no way an attempt to conceal a major flaw in the original footage…

Here’s some stills from last night’s episode of Torchwood, the BBC sci-fi drama series and Doctor Who spin-off.

Here is an ill child hiding in a hospital toilet. Is that a Sony PSP he’s playing on?

Now he’s skulking through a deserted ward. But wait! The PSP screen is a familiar blue. Surely not…?

ZOMFG!!! as the kids say. It’s a bloody POP Station! With the arm-throwing game we all know and fear, ‘Street Fighter’.

Is this a little in-joke amongst the BBC props department? Or have things got so bad that their budget won’t stretch to a PSP? We will never know.

Many thanks to eagle-eyed viewer Daniel Thomas who sent me the heads-up for this.

I’m not entirely sure what I expected to see when I opened the box, but I am sure it wasn’t this:

Now call me Captain Overly-Sensitive, but one thing I don’t want to see in a family board game is a burning cross. I’ve blurred out the answer so you can have a jolly time guessing which catchphrase it’s supposed to represent. That art in full:

What is it? Mississippi Burning? Just remember Roy Walker’s original advice and say what you see…

The answer is “Crossfire”.

Was there no quality control at Paul Lamond Games? Did nobody think that an image of a burning crucifix is not the best thing to include in a family board game? What’s next, Mr. Chips wearing a white hood?

Whilst posting this I noticed the other catchphrase in the photo, “Corn on the Cob”. The clue features the words “corn” and “cob” written out. Setting the difficulty level a bit low there, I feel.

In the unlikely event you’re curious about the game itself: It’s terrible, tedious and fiddly due to poor design. One person has to leave the room and spend several minutes setting things up before each round, and a round often lasts about 2 minutes. Crap.

It is Metrocross for the Atari ST.

Some random idiot dressed in spandex, pulling the most gormless face humanly possible, leaping out of a damaged chessboard. The little silhouette of a prancing man is just the icing on the cake. I’ve heard this described as the “world’s crappest image”, a description which bears some merit.

Other home versions of Metrocross featured a futuristic illustration far more relevant to the game than idiot-boy and his skateboard. Why did the Atari ST warrant the creation of this visual abomination? There is no excuse for the existence of this image, and the retarded work experience boy who made it should be hunted down and terminated with extreme prejudice.

The game was pretty good, by the way.

As a sort of runner-up, here’s a picture of Anirog Software’s Kong game for the ZX Spectrum.

Hooray!

EDIT: I’ve been advised to “Digg” this post, by submitting it to the Digg website and writing “Digg” in inverted commas a lot. So I have. I’ll put up one of those nice little counting buttons when I have time to figure out how.