As you will have noticed unless you’re the least observant creature to have ever drawn breath, I’ve moved this site over to Wordpress and it all looks better. In fact, this is the first time ashens.com has worked properly in last 4 years!
Possibly some things will be broken or otherwise not working properly. Drop me a line using the CONTACT link at the top of the page if you’re suffering such imperfection.
(Also, I’ve finally phased out all references to the original “Birdhouse” site name. It’s a bit like when Action Force became G.I. Joe.)
Well hello Dolly! And greetings to any other dead cloned sheep who may be reading.
What a month it’s been. On the Big Plus side I’ve enjoyed massive success by securing funding* for a pilot of a future project, and filmed a couple of web sketches with proper TV comedians who you’ve probably heard of and everything. On the Big Minus side I’ve spent the best part of the last 40 days drowning in a sea of technical problems, unexpected copyright issues, bizarre legal implications and ill health. Still, it beats working in an office. (As does death by asphyxiation.)
ANYWAY. Here’s a video! Which I had to upload three times before YouTube stopped choking on it. ANYWAY. You’ll notice it’s my first video in bandwidth-tastic HD. I wouldn’t actually recommend watching it in HD – it’s only some hands in front of a sofa and the focus is questionable – but the larger upload seems to drastically increase the quality of the standard version. The actual review is of the Dingoo A320, an almost nifty Chinese handheld emulator console thing.
Have a click on this if you fancy a Dingoo yourself. Ebay is full of them at the moment, so hopefully some programmer-types will pick them up and fix some of the problems. I’ve also heard rumours that game accessory company Blaze are thinking of re-badging the A320 for retail in the UK, which could help the software situation if true.
On a different note, why the flipping heck is YouTube’s large HQ/HD player in 2:1 aspect ratio rather than 16:9? Who on Earth is producing videos in 2:1, let alone uploading them to YouTube? Is it something to do with offering full Hollyowood movies in the future? Why am I wasting my time asking so many questions that nobody can answer? Can I go now? (Yes.)
*By which I mean several people far more competent than me did the hard work securing the funding. Obviously.
Have you ever heard of the jolly video website That Guy with the Glasses? (If not, click the link and have a look. I’ll wait.) Well, gasp in mock excitement as I tell you that I’ve joined up with them, and will be releasing future videos on both that site and YouTube. Corks!
The first cross-pollinated video will be another Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of, because I haven’t released one for 18 months. Expect it to hit the magical inter-tubes within a week.
Also! I’ve given another interview, this time with the fragrant Thunderbolt Games. Have a good click here and learn a bit about POP Stations and hammers.
Twitter news – I’m approaching 1000 followers, and when that utterly meaningless milestone is reached I’m going to hold a competition. The prize will be an Ashen action figure (remember them?) and an Ashenthology DVD. And infinite respect from all the people of the world, of course.
Wouldst thou believe it – I’ve decided that using Twitter would be a good idea, as I’m in a position to regularly update and it will help convince people I’m not dead yet. You can either look at the purple box on the right-hand side of the page for updates, or if you use it yourself you can ‘follow’ me by clicking here.
Update on the 2009 antique hunt: Serious lack of progress. I’ve had no leads on Public Domain magazine, and for the other I’ve had about 20 remarkably similar e-mails saying “Urgh you bought Amiga Action!”. Whilst it’s nice to think that the phenomenally pathetic AA still engenders nothing but contempt, that doesn’t help the matter at hand. And of course I didn’t buy it! Nobody bought it, as it was a pamphlet full of crap which cost a fiver. My best friend worked in a magazine warehouse and “appropriated” many unsold Amiga magazines for me. (And sometimes sweets off the front of comics if we were lucky.)
Just a quick note to wish a happy Christmas to anyone unfortunate enough to be visiting this site. I have produced a jolly Christmas video, but I foolishly left it until the last minute to upload so it’s currently stuck in YouTube’s Partner-approvement-queue thing. Hopefully it will be online shortly if you feel like wasting a small part of Christmas day watching me poke fun at some seasonal decorations.
(Incidentally, I decided against posting a write-up the Noseybonk-on-Screenwipe thing because it came across as self-aggrandising and tedious. And there’s plenty enough stuff like that on the Internet already, hmm?)
A quick post to say that a new episode of the rather splendid Wez & Larry’s Top Tens is available to view online. It’s showcasing ten of the worst TV licenses in video game history and is a whole heap’o'fun.
But that’s not all – I literally had a hand in it. During the sequence about the infamous Eastenders game for ZX Spectrum, I demonstrate the ridiculous control system you were forced to use. Go here to see my very own arms, Spectrum and piece of wood!
There is much information to be disseminated via the medium of video. Here goes:
Wow, so many links in so little time! The layout of the site has been altered slightly to incorporate the extras in a less silly fashion.
Please vote on the DVD thing using the link above. It will help me immensely, as I need to work out how many of them to have produced. The DVD will feature all my reviews and personal animation-type things along with various exclusive extras and hidden bits (including some stuff I produced which I never uploaded anywhere as it was a bit ‘risky’). There will be no director’s commentary, I promise. Price will be about £8 / $20 / € 13 including postage.
Also, on the subject of auctions, I’ll be starting to stick the stuff I’ve reviewed on Ebay in a few weeks. I need the cupboard space for my shattered dreams.
ANYWAY. Here’s another video, showing footage of me which will actually be broadcast on Satellite TV!
Apparently the CURSE OF ASHEN has since struck XLeague.tv, and they’ve fired loads of people and have temporarily stopped producing programmes which aren’t about “E-Sports”. And as “E-Sports” has a potential UK audience of about 132 people, some of which are about to discover girls, it seems highly likely that putting their eggs in that basket will kill them off completely. The sillies.
