AKA The Crippled Master

1979, Directed by Joe Law

What do you do when you find two martial arts experts who are missing a few limbs each? Why, make a movie where they seek revenge for their mutilations, of course!

There’s some excellent and unusual kung fu on display in this one, together with a slightly uncomfortable sounding voice-over. The protagonists seem anything but crippled, leaping about the place and beating the crap out of various bad men.

I don’t understand the segments with the Yoga expert in the box. Perhaps he’s their spiritual adviser or something? That doesn’t explain why they meet him on a really plain-looking studio set.

So… Is this film an uplifting tale of triumph over adversity, or base exploitation of people who have worked hard to overcome physical disabilities? I suppose you’ll have to see the full version to find out, but given that it was made in 1979 it’s unlikely to be the former…

Favourite bit: Right at the end, where the guy with no legs suddenly flies up in the air and teleports for no discernable reason.

IMDB LINK

AKA Thriller: A Cruel Picture, Hooker’s Revenge, Thriller

1974, Directed by Bo Arne Vibenius

A brutal revenge thriller where a woman who suffers rape, torture and mutilation violently murders those responsible. Mostly using a magic slow-motion shotgun and a lot of screaming.

This astonishingly unpleasant movie has the dubious honour of being the first film banned in Sweden, even after having 21 minutes of footage cut. But is it still too horrible to be accepted by modern audiences? Well, two versions are currently available on DVD. The yellow version is the standard release, whilst the red version (using the alternate ‘A Cruel Picture’ title) is the full, uncensored cut with all the original violence and hardcore pornography in place. These days you actually get to choose how much nastiness you see! That’s progress for you.

Dull Movie Fact! Apparently this movie partially inspired Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill – You can certainly see similarity in the storylines. Daryl Hannah’s ‘Elle Driver’ character was based on One Eye herself.

Favourite bit: The ridiculous little piano tune when the caption appears right at the end. Sounds like it was stolen from a horror B-movie.

IMDB LINK